Monthly Archives: April 2017

RAVISHED

These past couple of days I have been feeling the battle between me and stress/anxiety increase. I have really tried to overcome these feelings but it’s getting more and more difficult and today I found myself at the verge of hitting my limit and really getting burnt out. It’s been an internal fight, fighting against my own self and let myself get the best of me. This isn’t my first rodeo when it comes to trying to balance ministry and school, but this time it feels like all the heavy stuff is piling up at one time. 

To be honest it took a lot of leaning on God today and finding peace from Him to get through everything at church. When I got home I was feeling extremely fatigued and drained, but my day just begin, because we went to Outcry concert tonight. Usually I would be super excited and thrilled for such an opportunity of worship but today I wasn’t feeling up to it but didn’t have a choice to go. 

But oh boy am I glad I went. Worshipping with Elevation Worship, Lauren Daigle and Jesus Culture was absolutely unreal. It was exactly what I needed and I believe it was a gift from God. While worshipping tonight I felt true freedom, experienced my chains fall off and the peace and joy of the Lord flow within my soul. I’m so thankful for this privilege tonight, for this blessing God has given me to find healing and restoration. 

I saw God today. 

Did you?

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CAN’T BREAK IT 

A couple months ago I made a promise with myself and God that Saturday would be my sabbath. I was really convicted after hearing some lessons on the importance of sabbath and reading an article about how keeping the sabbath was one of the most broken commandments. That’s when I decided this was a change I needed to make and the only day I could find that would work was Saturday so I decided on Saturday’s I would clear my schedule and make time for myself and God. I would allow myself to rest and be free from stress and just have that be a day to refuel in my personal faith but also physically and mentally. Surprisingly I have been able to follow through but I decided early this week that I would have to break this commitment this Saturday. 

I have been drowning in things to do, so I thought I would take all day to do work and also there was a fundraising event in Dayton I was planning to go this morning. But yesterday was one of those days where I felt like I really fell off the edge and I was burnt out. So today God convicted me and challenged me to keep the sabbath I have committed to. Even though it’s hard I felt like I really needed to hit the brakes today and find rest, turn my eyes on Him and breathe. 

At first it was really hard, I wanted to do some things and I felt lazy for not doing anything, but that’s when God kept reminding me that everything was going to be okay. The reality is I stress myself out more than I need to. So today God gave me peace, He allowed me to take a breath, be filled up again and has prepared me to do more this coming week. 

I saw God today. 

Did you?

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PLACES TO TALK & LISTEN

It’s been a really really long day for me. Left my house around 9:30am and got home around 9:30pm. One of those days with back to back things to do, constantly busy. To be honest it has been a day contacting some struggles, stress and anxiety, but looking back there were definitely more positives than negatives. 

One of the biggest things I’m thankful for and realized today was how many opportunities God has given me throughout the day to talk about Him and listen to others talk about Him. It started off with this small group/mentoring group my friend and I lead for the introduction to public theology students. Today’s topic was on disabilities and we looked at this topic through many different perspectives and with a theological tone. It was a great opportunity for our group to dig deeper in a hard topic and discover God and how we see God in this realm. 

After the group I went to my theological ethics in the novel class. This class is fully conversation based and today’s topic was Christian apologetics and evangelism. We simply shared our views on these topics and listened to what others had to say. Honestly there were many views and comments said in the class that I disagreed with and I could keep myself from being passive and I was convicted and led to share my thoughts. In that time it was really refreshing being able to share with others my beliefs but also attempt to look through the eyes of others. 

Right after class I went to meet one of my fellow pastors who I’m doing the ordination process with to talk about some stuff before we went to our ordination mentor group meeting. We have assignments we do before each meeting and I met with the pastor to talk about our answers. It was nice being able to have that one on one time and look at certain things together and have discussion. 

I was truly thankful for our ordination mentor group meeting. We spent 3 hours talking about God, our process, ministry, life etc. Having such a diverse group and to see so many perspectives about God and other faith based elements is really amazing. 

All day today God has challenged me to really think about Him, talk about Him and listen to others talk about Him. Through today I was reminded once again how important it is in our faith to be in conversation. It’s hard to understand God on our own but it’s a little less hard when we gather together. 

I saw God today.

Did you?

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YESTERDAY’S PRAYERS

Last night at Refresh we had a time of sharing prayer requests and praying for one another. That’s when I shared with everyone how recently I have feeling a little burnt out and felt like I wasn’t able to give me %100 to each ministry I was leading and in my studies. That’s something that has been heavy on my heart, feeling like I’m lacking in giving my everything in all that God has placed before me. 

Because of this feel almost every day I find myself beating myself up and stressing myself out. This feeling of not being able to do my best. The truth is, it’s not easy leading 2 ministries, preaching every other Sunday and taking 7 classes. But I still have this desire to do my best in all aspects. 

After sharing this with the members of Refresh they laid hands on me and showered me with prayer. One of my brothers who prayed for me said the exact things I think I really needed to hear and what God wanted me to hear. That everything is okay, that God is still happy and that I can trust God to help me and that I’m not alone. 

Today I was on the verge of letting my stress and anxiety get the best of me when God reminded me of yesterday’s prayers. The moment I remembered those prayers I had peace in my heart and was able to resist the lies trying to overcome me. 

I saw God today. 

Did you?

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COMFORTED

We had our monthly praise and prayer night tonight for Refresh, but we did it differently than usual. It was a real intimate time where we all sat in a circle for worship and spent the rest of the time just sharing about how we were all doing and prayer requests and then laying hands on each person who shared and prayed over them. This is exactly what I needed. 

I’m beyond thankful I had this opportunity to talk about some things that were on my chest and receive prayer. It’s been awhile since I’ve been in that position to receive and really be vulnerable. Also it was a huge blessing to pray over our members and hear their stories and how they were all doing. 

All in all I believe nights like tonight I am reminded what the body of Christ and the Church is all about. A community of brothers and sisters there for each other helping one another draw closer to God. 

I saw God today. 

Did you? 

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TAKE A LISTEN

Last year during our vbs I had the privilege and blessing to meet a brother in Christ who came to help out. Ever since then we have kept in contact and seen eachother in passing. Finally after a year I was able to meet up with him tonight and grab dinner to get to know eachother a little more and also talk about our vbs this year. 

I have had the blessing to have my path cross with the paths of many amazing people. But this man’s story and character is truly one of a kind. As we were eating he shared his testimony. We ended up talking for about 2 hours and during the whole time I was in awe. 

His story is like something I would see on a YouTube video or read in a book. It’s crazy everything he has been through in his 35 years of life. But what really stuck out to me was seeing God in and throughout his whole story. 

It’s truly amazing to listen to how God has been moving in people’s lives. Through testimonies you can witness that God really is alive and how He does do miracles. 

I saw God today. 

Did you?

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FIRM

I had the privilege to attend a Veritas-Forum which is an academic conversation between two scholars from opposite spectrums that discuss specific topics. The reason I went today was to see the great theologian and author of our time N.T. Wright. The forum was between him and a philosopher answering “life’s biggest questions”. The questions were for example, what is life? Who are we? What role do humans play in the world? Etc. 

To be brutally honest I went into the event with a fear. A fear that I might be shaken by what the philosopher had to say and leave questioning some of my core understandings of faith, God, life etc. I was scared that some of the pre-existing thoughts and beliefs I held were going to be challenged. But just the fact that I had these fears frightened me and questioned how firm I was in my faith. 

But as the conversation went on and N.T. Wright spoke and the philosopher spoke and discussed the questions all my fears were shattered. Everything Wright was saying aligned with my beliefs, confirmed them and gave me even more evidence to have confidence. Honestly the things that the philosopher said did make sense but were not convicting at all. 

In this moment God revealed Himself to me. Revealed how there is no reason at all for me to doubt Him and especially not doubt the inevitable truths I believe. I must continue to stand firm in my faith and in my beliefs. 

I saw God today. 

Did you?

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IT’S NOT ABOUT “EASY”

Today has been one of the most exhausting Sundays I’ve had in a while but at the same time one of the most rewarding. Preaching for first service, leading children’s service followed by two meetings. There were a handful of challenges today, moments where I’ve found room for growth and improvement but through it all I was able to truly witness fruit in my ministries and see God in it all. 

I can’t believe it’s already been a few months since I’ve taken the position as the children’s pastor. Each Sunday I am reminded how much I love doing this and how this is what God has called me to do. But with it being my first time leading children’s ministry I am facing new challenges and difficulties in ministry that I’ve never faced before. The reality is that it’s not easy whatsoever but it’s not about it being easy. Through the hard times and personal struggles I wintess God’s fruit which makes it all worth it. 


Today we continued on focusing on Jesus and what He has done for us on the cross and through the resurrection. I taught the kids about repentance and forgiveness and we had a time to write our sins on paper, nail it to the cross, watch them burn away and pray a prayer of repentance. Moments like today, seeing the kids take new steps in their faith really brings a smile to my face and gives me motivation to keep doing better in my ministry. 

I saw God today. 

Did you?

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REFUEL 

For some reason I felt beyond exhausted yesterday. It’s not like I had that busy of a week but my body started really shutting down and as well as my mind. As I was feeling fatigued I promised myself I will take today to be refueled and rested so it doesn’t effect me tomorrow. 

God has been revealing to me why I get so stressed out and sensitive easily, which has been negatively effecting me in my ministry and just even in general. The simple conclusion I have faced is that I am just tired all the time and not rested as much as I need to. But the good thing about all this is that it’s something I can change if I am intentional enough. 

For almost two months now I have been staying true to my commitment in making Saturday my sabbath. So for today I’m glad God gave me the opportunity to catch up on sleep, spend time with my family and get rejuvenated for the week ahead. 

Days like today I am reminded how important it is to end the day with a smile. But most importantly end the day with my eyes on the Lord. 

I saw God today. 

Did you?

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CONVICTION TO ACTION

A couple days ago my theological themes in the novel professor took the time to listen to my claim and bumped my essay grade up by 10 percent. I was truly thankful that he was willing to hear what I had to say and do that for me. But in response he had one request from me, to speak in class and contribute to the class discussions. Because the truth is I haven’t spoken at all so far in the semester. 

Him asking that especially after what he did for me was really convicting. All that he wanted was for me to share my thoughts during class time. He said through my writings he could tell I had good things to say but would like to hear them shared. 

So I took that conviction and turned it into action today. I didn’t open my laptop to make sure I wouldn’t get distracted and I have my undivided attention to the class discussion and spoke multiple times. It was actually really rewarding and I realized a lot through that.

I made a connection with my relationship with God. He showers us with blessings even when we don’t deserve it and all that He desires is just a little gesture in return. 

I saw God today. 

Did you?

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