This past winter break was a time where God gave me a lot of opportunities to reflect, gain vision and pray for my ministry and all the things I am involved in. It was a much needed time. To be really honest, the past several months have been very difficult and challenging for me in my ministry. It was the first time I ever felt like I was failing God and my congregation, the first time I questioned God if I was doing the right thing and even questioned if this ministry really was what God desired.
This past break was a time where God didn’t only give me conviction or reveal things to me but rather called me into action and gave me answers to my questions. He has filled me with an excitement and a desire to serve fully and lay down my burdens, fears and insecurities.
Today before Refresh I was able to meet with one of my brothers who is a part of our servant leadership team and it was the first time I was able to truly be open and vulnerable about what I have been going through. It was such a blessing to have that opportunity to be real and share with someone what God has been putting on my heart. But what was really amazing and evidence that these things were from God was that he has been feeling the same way. So we started to get back to the fundamentals of scripture and began to brainstorm a vision and direction for what to do with Refresh for this year.
Through our conversation I really received confirmation that God was wanting do do something amazing through us and through this ministry. But God gave me an even clearer confirmation and taste of what is to come when we gathered for Refresh tonight. We had the largest Wednesday group we have had in months, with a new member and members who haven’t come for a long time. What was truly amazing wasn’t the number of people but the hungry hearts that everyone had.
Through tonight God revealed that He did desire this ministry and that He has big plans ahead of us. He gave me truth that overcame the lies and doubts that have been lingering in my mind. God gave all of us a glimpse of the future and potential of HIS ministry. I am so thankful God revealed Himself to me in such an unexpected and surprising way. He has proven to me once more that His works are not finished.
I saw God today.