To be really honest I haven’t felt this overwhelmed and stressed out in a long time. With finals and all my papers I need to do, I have hit a point where I just want to surrender. Especially with it hitting crunch time and having to get a lot of things done by Monday, today has been rough. It’s not just the workload that’s getting to me, but something internally has been really off. It’s to a point where I’m just shutting down and wanting to close out everything from my thoughts.
I took a little break from studying and was hanging out with my parents just talking. I was sharing with them how I’m overwhelmed with school work I have to do tonight plus sermon preparation for my message tomorrow morning.
I’m on a rotation with two other pastors and we take turns giving the sermon for our first service. So I give the message about once a month for that service. But what’s really ironic is that it’s always my turn when I have an extremely busy weekend or when I’m overwhelmed. I was talking about this with my parents when my dad said, “There’s probably a reason for that”.
I didn’t think too much of what he said and I went back to continue studying. After I got some work done I began my sermon preparation, which was very last minute. But as I was preparing it turned into much more than just a time of getting ready for a sermon. It was a time of devotional and quality time to spend with God.
That’s when I realized this past week I really haven’t spend alone time with God because I was so caught up with school work. But this amazing time I had with God tonight only happened because I have to give the message tomorrow. That’s when I realized, this is probably the reason God has me doing this whenever I’m in a difficult time. Because it’s a chance for me to stop everything I’m doing and think about Him and come back to that place of intimacy.
God has literally set a time apart from the chaos for me to spend time with Him. He has given me the opportunity to look at Him and meet with Him even though I haven’t been being intentional. Even though I may not make the time for Him, He always is wanting time with me.
I saw God today.