It’s been an emotional roller coaster for me this week, just going through a lot internally and in my thoughts. In this rough patch I am realizing a lot about myself. The biggest thing being, I lie to myself. I try to convince myself everything is okay and tell myself things to ignore or overcome my current dilemmas. By doing that I have realized how unhealthy that is.
Another thing I find myself doing every time I hit a hard season is have this mindset I can do it on my own, that I don’t need anyone’s help, that I’m capable. And that again is another lie I tell myself. But this week God has constantly put people by my side to remind me I have friends, brothers and sisters in Christ for a reason. They can be my helping hand and comfort. As the days past I have become more and more thankful to know how blessed I am to have these individuals by my side whom I can talk to.
Tonight we had youth group and had a time of sharing. Sharing how we were doing and how our relationships with God has been. Something I always try to do is make sure I participate in whatever the kids are doing. But I hesitated a little before sharing about how I have been struggling, I was scared to be vulnerable. But God gave me the conviction and led me to a place where I could truly let it out and express how I truly felt.
I was so thankful for that moment. Thankful that I have places to go and people to be around where I can be open. What’s really great is that it’s not just pity or sympathy I receive from these people but prayer and encouragement. That’s when God reminded me, what I need right now is not just overcoming this season, but being able to be prayer for, encouraged and be in the presence of God. Not just do through action but receive.
I saw God today.